A Little Less Of Me

My quest to become thinner and healthier

Disorderly Eating 6 February 2009

Filed under: Musings — lennonzgal @ 15:43

I was thinking about this the other day when I first saw that 185.8 number … I knew full-well that the number was due to the fact that I couldn’t keep anything down on Saturday and the fact that I only ate toast on Sunday.  But still, it started to clue me in on eating disorders.  If I didn’t loathe the vomiting part so much, I can sort of see how something like that starts … you lose a little weight when you’re sick and poof, you’re throwing up all the time to stay skinny.  Not a life I’d like to have, but I can understand the mindset.

I have a few people close to me who have dealt with eating disorders and I feel for them … I don’t know how it started or why it ended, but I have to say that I was scared for each and every one of them.  So, I was doing a search online about anorexia and bullemia and in typing the words into google (who now helps fill in suggestions), I saw this: “anorexia tips” – WHAT?!  So, I clicked on it and was barraged with web pages (over 250,000 hits) telling me HOW to become anorexic!  Well, isn’t that lovely. 

I have no idea why you would WANT to do this … I can almost understand “falling” into it (as I did this weekend … someone who has a terrible self-image might see the weekend of not eating and throwing up and realize that weight loss was the result, thus beginning a viscious cycle), but making an actual conscious decision to become anorexic or bullemic?   Yeah, I don’t think so.

It’s frustrating to me that men and women both think that being thin thin thin is the answer.  You know what?  I’m a size 14 right now – sometimes,  I can jam my ghetto butt into a 12, but I’m a pretty solid 14.  Some of you are gasping at that, seeing images of the proverbial fat lady singing.  I’m pretty proud of that 14.  I was once a 22.  To me, 14 is damn thin, though I happen to know that I can get to, and be comfortable at, a size 10 … POSSIBLY an 8.  Will I ever be a size 4?  No.  Do I want to be?  Not really. 

As much as I don’t like Jenny Craig (mainly because of the buy-your-meal thing), I think they’ve got it right with their new slogan, “What’s YOUR Ideal Size?”  I love that.  They know that not everyone can be tiny, and it’s okay.  I wish the rest of the world thought that way …

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