So, I own quite a bit of … we’ll call it over-underwear. My office is very cold all the time, and I finally decided to whip out the Cuddl Duds today since I wanted to be able to go outside after work and not sweat my ass off on the way home becuase I was in a thick wool sweater.
Since its just Fall, I whipped out the Cuddl Dud tank top. Apparently, it’s got just enough stretch in it to sort of act as shapewear as well. This got me thinking. I own a bit of Spanx also, I’ve been sort of buying stuff piecemeal to decide what I do and do not like. I don’t wear them often, but when I really need a certain shape for a dress or a pair of pants, I’ll pull out my current favorite – the Higher Power. These are basically crotchless panties (yeah, I know … I think its because they know there’s no way in hell you’re prying these things off to pee once they’re on … or maybe I just got lucky and grabbed the lesser-known Dirty Higher Power), but they stretch all the way down to mid-thigh and all the way up to just under the boobs. This basically gives a nice, flat look all-over. NOT something you EVER want to wear every day, but definitely something that should be in the closet, just in case. I also own the Power Panty, which is what this tank reminds me of.
Heavy people apparently were not meant to wear most shapewear, which sort of seems like maybe the creators of shapewear got it wrong. Trust me … if I were a size 6 and had a little flab, I wouldn’t give a damn. I’d be friggin’ happy I was a 6. But as it stands, I’m not, and I’ve got quite a bit of flab that I’d like to hide. Problem is, things like the Power Panty, and this tank top, tend to roll up/down because I’m flabby. So, the tank top, if I’m not sitting like I have a rod up my ass, rolls up to an attractive level under my boobs making me look like I’m wearing some sort of ring around my chest. Very hot. The panties do the same thing – they roll downward, adding yet another roll to my already existing ones. Beautiful. I spend a lot of time swearing when I wear those panties (and apparently, this tank).
Why do I keep them? Well, I spent a fortune on the panties, so I swear to God I’m going to find a damn day to wear them. As for the tank … it keeps my trunk nice and warm without overheating me. And so, I just spend a lot of time swearing.
So, this is my note, no … my plea to the makers of shapewear … when you do your market research, try and get a few more fat folks in there. We’re the ones who are buying this stuff, and yet we’re the ones cursing and flipping out because it won’t sit still. I appreciate the Higher Power. That thing doesn’t move (really, you need a crowbar to take it off at night), but more options would be appreciated!