A Little Less Of Me

My quest to become thinner and healthier

184.6 18 April 2009

Filed under: Daily Weight Log,Why I'm Heavy — lennonzgal @ 13:30

Typical Saturday morning.  I started logging again this morning, I haven’t logged in about two weeks.  Gee, wonder why I haven’t lost anything??  I’ve come to realize why there are generally two types of moms – rail-thin ones and heavyset ones.  In the past two weeks, we’ve had Liam’s birthday (party at our house), an ear infection (including a fever of 102), Easter, and another ear infection (including a midnight fever of 103).  Being a mom is a high-stress job (albeit a very worthwhile one), and in stressful situations people do one of two things: eat or not.  I eat, thus I belong in the heavyset mom category.

I’ve tried several forms of stress-relief … yoga (too boring for me … the quiet and slow movement just make me irritated and more stressed), meditation (see yoga), running (this one works, when I can actually get out there and do it), etc.  Basically, when I can’t get out and run, chocolate tends to fill that void.

This upcoming week proves to be slightly less stressful.  Liam is on some strong antibiotics that should fix the ear infection (and prevent further fevers, at least for this week), Will is wrapping up his final project for school, and my house is slowly getting back to my level of cleanliness (baby fever = nothing gets done).  Now, if only I could figure out how to get the kid to nap …


The Thrill of the Cheat 24 January 2009

Filed under: Fun With Food,How Its Done - Past and Present,Why I'm Heavy — lennonzgal @ 19:02

I honestly think that no healthy lifestyle is complete without a cheat day now and again.  There are “off” days, which to me are days where the calories or points or whatever are good, but the ratios might not be there; for instance, I could eat something like 5 Snickers bars in a day and be within my POINTs…I didn’t get a lick of nutrient in there, but I ate to my allotment.  Those can come more frequently, because the gains they create are merely temporary and not worth worrying about.  A cheat day, a TRUE cheat day is more rare, more precious.  It’s the kind of day that becomes a battle between you and your pantry, and you’re going to win because you’re bigger and hungrier.  It’s the kind of day where you finally sit down at night, not wanting to look at another morsel of food for the next month. They cause a gain, and they’re well worth it.

Some of you may say, “Well, I cheat, but it’s really just to have a slice of cake after dinner once every few months.” To you, I say HA!  A slice of cake is amateur hour in the Ash household.  Here, our mouths open when we wake up, and they shut when we go to sleep.  Cookies, cakes, candy, nothing is safe in this house.  Those year-old Peeps clinging to life at the top of the fridge?  Gone.  The girl scout cookies in the basement freezer to be saved for a “later” date?  Guess today is “later” than the day I bought them.  The fake strawberries in Liam’s toy shopping cart … well, perhaps those will go unscathed.

I think a day like that is necessary.  It should be rare, certainly.  You can’t lose weight by watching yourself during the week and eating everything in sight on the weekends.  We’ve tried.  You can, however, still lose with a day here and there (in our case, once a month) filled with whatever you might dream of eating.  At the end of the day, I’ll be crying to Will, telling him that it’s all over, that I’m going to be fat for the rest of my life, and he rationally reminds me that it was just one day and regardless of what I ate today, I’ll still wake up tomorrow lighter than I was when I started.  And tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow is not a cheat day, and I know it.  So, I’ll dust myself off, remind myself why I started my journey, and be able to muddle through another few weeks of dieting, as I look forward to the next cheat.


Exercise … or Lack Thereof 17 January 2009

Filed under: How Its Done - Past and Present,Why I'm Heavy — lennonzgal @ 01:18

I’ve been meaning to post this for a while, just like I’ve been meaning to exercise for a while.  Neither has apparently happened.  I know that one of the major keys to weight loss is exercise, which is why I put it in my list of goals.  That said, I’ve not yet jumped on the workout train.

Why, you ask?  I suppose there are a million reasons.  My main excuse right now (and that’s really what it is … an excuse) is Liam.  I’m pretty exhausted after a day with him, and on days when I’m working, it’s a 10.5 hour day at work, plus a 45-minute drive in either direction.  That means I leave here at 6am and get home a little before 6pm.  At that point, we need to eat dinner, get Liam fed, bathe him, I have to breastfeed him, and then put him to bed.  By that point, it’s 7:30pm and I still have to get some form of housework done.

Prior to the arrival of The Prince, I ran three half-marathons over the course of about 6 months.  I loved it.  Running is my meditation – it’s the only time where I’m not anything … not a mom, not a wife, not a daughter, just me.  I love that pit-pat-pit-pat sound as I make my way around the neighborhood or down the Schuylkill River Trail.  I do miss it, and would love to get back into it, but even that will have to wait until this cold is over.  I have a short-term goal of doing a 5K, and I would love to be able to do that within the next 12 months.  In the meantime, trying to find time to do so is a lot of work.

I’ve made a commitment to myself.  There are a lot of people who say that making too many changes at once will only lead to failure.  Instead, I’m going to allow myself to work slowly through change.  This month, there have been a lot of modifications to my life – going back to work, trying to eat healthier, trying to make more big meals each week, etc.  I think that I’m going to allow myself to just muddle through January and use February as a means to start figuring out a workout schedule.  Remember, there are two of us in this house who need to exercise, and only one of us can leave at a time, Liam can’t babysit himself 🙂  So, my commitment is this – January is my off-month as far as exercise goes.  I’ll do my best to add in slight exercise where I can, parking far from the store, using stairs rather than the elevator, and adding a little more oomph to my cleaning.  In February, I’m going to start analyzing our evenings, and figure out where I can fit in at least 3 workouts per week … even a run around my neighborhood would make me happy.  In March, it’ll finally be getting warm enough where I can go running anytime, and I’ll start training for that 5K.  I need you guys to hold me to it!


How Many Calories Are In Snot? 14 January 2009

Filed under: Musings,Why I'm Heavy — lennonzgal @ 01:25

Liam has been sick for two days, and lucky me, I’ve caught whatever he had.  I can feel the post-nasal drip and I have to wonder to myself – am I killing my diet by constantly swallowing?  Should I continue blowing my nose until I can feel my lungs trying to turn inside-out?

Being sick is a diet-killer.  When you’re sick, you feel sorry for yourself.  When you feel sorry for yourself, you comfort yourself with food.  Well, YOU may not, but I sure as hell do.  I did well for the majority of the day, it helps when I bring my own food.  I had a slice of (nasty cafeteria) pizza rather than my Smart Ones meal, but they were the same number of POINTs, and probably the same amount of sodium.  I ate fine at dinner, but then came dessert.  While trying to decide what to have for dessert, I found myself alternating between the jar of peanut butter and the tub of ice cream.  After about 5 minutes of this, I decided that a bowl of ice cream wasn’t what I watned (despite the half-gallon I had just consumed) and went for a Weight Watchers cone.  Now, I’m parked on the couch, contemplating having Will sit on me so that I can’t get up and go back into the kitchen.

I’m home with the Prince tomorrow … I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can keep control!


Pizza Dude’s Got Thirty Seconds… 11 January 2009

Filed under: Why I'm Heavy — lennonzgal @ 00:56

I love pizza.  I mean LOVE it.  Could eat it three meals a day every day.  That said, pizza is one of those foods that’s a no-no on most diet plans.  That’s why I like Weight Watchers – as long as I count the POINTs, I can have pizza.

In our house, Saturdays used to be cheat day.  Last year, that basically meant that POINTs went out the window and we could eat whatever we wanted all day, as long as we were extra-good counting during the rest of the week.  Needless to say, that didn’t go as well as one would hope.  So, I’ve decided to institute a different policy.  Rather than have cheat days every week, allow myself to a more controlled cheat day every other week to start (I have a feeling this will go to once a month), and allow Saturdays in general to be “crappy food” days.  What I mean by that is, I stick to my POINTs, but don’t care about getting my allotted veggies in, etc.  We’ll see how that works.


It’s All in the Jeans … I Mean Genes 1 January 2009

Filed under: Why I'm Heavy — lennonzgal @ 22:04

I suppose ‘genes’ isn’t the word I’m looking for, but then my title wouldn’t have been so bloody clever, now would it?  If you look at 100 women, you’ll probably find 100,000 reasons for struggling with weight.  That said, I think that there is one commonality between us all – I think that eating habits are inherited in a sense … we learn our basic food selection skills from our parents.  For instance, I grew up in a family where my father had a bowl of potato chips as a snack mid-day and my mom would leave a bag of pretzels open on the counter and pick at the bag for the afternoon until it was half gone.  So, when I go to make food selections, I’m prone to select potato chips over fruit, and I have a habit of picking at snack foods all day.

Now, that’s not to say that I blame my parents for the Lord-knows-how-many cookies I ate over the past week; on the contrary.  I know full well that it’s my fault that I sometimes have cake for breakfast or that I have trouble putting away the pizza after having eaten my one serving.

All that said, I’ve recently become a mother, and I’ve looked back on my childhood and I’ve made conscious decisions to do certain things like my parents did, and to change others.  It’s our job as the next generation to do it better.  So, why can’t we do that in every aspect of life?  It’s up to us to take the good and the bad that we learned and change what we need.  Be grateful to our teachers, but take what we’ve learned and modify it to make our lives better.